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i've never been more grateful for the fourth of july, especially since i get the day off.

seriously, my summer schedule goes like this:

i get up, shower, eat toast and make my lunch.
leave the house.
get to work.
chase after kids until about two pm.
walk home.
clean my room or play video games for like, half an hour.
wake up at 6:00am.
start cycle over again.

my parents are starting to get mad at me for sleeping so much again, and they're all, 'the school year is over. yu can't complain about having a lot of work to do now.' so i had to expain to them that chasing around after 13 kids everyday was TIRING. that at work i don't just sit there and color pictures. not to mention that i can't hardly ever sit down because my boss might be watching.

ahhh whatever.

yesterday after work i hung out with some friends, for the first time since... in a while lol. it was nice. today i'm supposed to hang out with another friend, and that should be nice too. =]

picture before i forget:

i'm the loser with the sunglasses on indoors, lol.

happy fourth of july!
work. is. exausting.

monday i got out of work, took the bus to the eye place to pick up my contact lenses, then went home and slept. yesterday i went home and slept. today i was supposed to hang out with my friends, because it was the last day of school and all and i couldn't be there because i had to work, but then they decided not to wait for me to get out and go see a movie all the way on the other side of the bronx. rrrgh. i was mad the entire bus ride hope, but then i got over it, i think. i want to buy sunglasses. soon i might go to the beach with some other friends that don't go to my school, so i hafta buy a bathing suit.

chasing after kids all day really drain a person. most of them are pretty well-behaved, but there's this one kid, kevin, who's a complete psychopath. he hits the other kids and doesn't do what he's told and runs around and screams and it's so frustrating. also my boss keeps, like, grilling me. like she wants to catch me not doing anything. She's all like, play with the kids, interact with the kids! but how am i supposed to do that when they're all running around in the sprinklers and everything? ugh.

other than that everything's okay. half the kids leave at 12:30, and it's pretty quiet after that. except for today when the kids were running around outside and then started comparing their genitalia (that was bad, i don't even want to know where they learned those words from) things have been good. except for the fact that IT'S 27 BILLION DEGREES OUTSIDE AND WE DON'T HAVE AN A/C only a ceiling fan. mmmph.

i got into AP english!

so tired. ugh whatever. listening to the most beautiful song in the world.
my new job starts tomorrow.

rrrgh i have no idea what i did this week. took a test. went somewhere. rrghgrlolol

longer post tomorrow (after work!)

edit; the other day i had a dream i found my wallet. i was reallllllly happy. then i woke up and smacked my head against the wall a few times.
i'm not going to summer school for spanish.


today while i was at chem tutoring my spanish teacher pulled me aside and told me point blank that i didn't deserve to pass. at all. but she's going to do it anyway.

i asked her why. she said it was because i am nice.

so now i feel like the BIGGEST ASSHOLE IN THE WORLD for all of the mean things i've said about her this entire year. rrrgh.

on another note, i got over that jealousy thing. :]
on another another note, last friday i broke down and cried in the middle of the hallway at school. luckily there wasn't that many people around.
on another another another note, i havve a summer job for about a month.
on a last note, my moocards came in the mail on friday and they were awesome. but then i lost them, along with my wallet.

i'm not that upset, everything can be replaced.

hey. :]


friday night was fantastic. i ended up going to international night at my school. the food was delicious, but i had to leave early because i was ducking all of my teachers. so i left with 3friends, jordan, isaac, and saddan, and we just started walking around until i decided to buy an ice cream bar. when i came back out they were debating who was the hottest out of these two junior girls. it was really funny, i participated in it a lot. then four more guys came along, including jordan's brother, and we basically just stood on the corner of the street for like, an hour just rating the girls in our grade (sophomore) myself included, lol. then we rated teachers. then we got tired of standing so we all went and bought 50cent sodas then went to a chinese food store and bought one small thing of fries for like, the eight of us. we eventually parted ways at around ten o'clock, and i ended up going to my friend alex's house to just hang out for an hour (but mainly because i had to go to the bathroom) i got home at like, twelve thirty-ish. i was really great.

today? not so much.

i don't know what's wrong with me. for some reason i just feel so much hate and jealousy inside me. mostly of my friends, but i feel it for people i don't even know. i don't like it. i like being happy and carefree, but everytime i think about my friends and their boyfriends or this kid i like and his -whatevers- i just feel like i want to hurt them really, really badly. and i've felt like this before, and the end of last year; but i thought that was it. i don't let things like that bother me. jealousy is not something i'm used to because i know i have a good life and i'm grateful for it and there shouldn't be anything that anyone else had that i want. and the hate part? i don't hate anybody. it's not in my nature to, and especially not my closest friends in the world. i have no reason to hate them. but whenever i think of them i just feel so congested with dislike for them until i can hardly stand to be around them.

i want this year to be over. i have so much homework to do tonight.

on an unrelated note, some crackhead woman called my phone and asked me if i was gonna pick her up in the car. i said 'um, sure' and she was like, 'ARE YOU GONNA PICK ME UP IN THE CAR' so i laughed and hung up on her. hopefully she won't call back.
i'm cutting school because i feel like it. i have a global test and an american quiz and a study sheet and math homework and spanish homework and i didn't do.know anything about all of it. i thought i could make it to summer but i don't think i can.

rrrgh, whatever. i love everyone, honesty, but i'm starting to get sick of everyone too.

i need to do something fun. like rollercoaster fun.
went to sleep at five yesterday, woke up at three am, did homework all night (morning). i feel great.

i ended up going to that party on sunday, but it was more hanging out than a party. i had a lot of fun though. but the train ride back from queens took, like, a year. i got home at about two in the morning because after i got back to the bronx i ran into a friend of mine and we decided to just wander around for a bit.

my friend's mother is graduating from the college my school is on tomorrow, i'm definitely gonna cut gym or something to see her. i'm tired of ultimate frisbee.

today is the one year anniversary of my friend's father's death. =[

aaaah wish school would end sooner.

my aunt on my father's side came to visit and she brought her girlfriend. they both live in arizona, so they were all typical and ny tourist-y. they came over for a barbeque last night and it was really tense and awkward because you should never go to a barbeque being held by a family who can't stand each other. :]
lolz, my crazy lesbian aunt who is the most computer illiterate person in the world (i had to explain to her what wikipedia was) asked me if i had a blog. i was like, yeah, and she was like, am i allowed to read it? and i was like, HAHAHAHAno and walked away. not cause there's stuff in here that i don't want family reading, but because she lives across the country and i only speak to her about once a year.

i was invited to a party tomorrow night but i don't think i'll go 'cause it's mad far away.

rrrgh, tuesday i bought this delicious imported candy bar from this super awesome candy store aaallllll the way downtown and now i can't find it. :[ and it sucks because i'm like, obsessing over it. it's just that delicious.

um. i can't stop watching this. viewer descretion advised?
rrrgh i've been so busy. all i've done this week is taken tests, gone to appointments, and slept. i have an essay due tomorrow that i should've started yesterday, but i was at a party instead. oh well.

the school year's almost over. :( it's kinda sad, really. it turns out i can't go to summer school for chemisty, but i'll probably end up going for spanish. i'm about 90% sure.

public bus rides with my friends are fun. <3

how are you guys?
so yesterday i mgiht've had a fever (so says like, seven people who had to put their hand to my forehead) and i (almost) went straight home (bt not before stopping in a supermarket and buying flan because i had this weird craving for it all during spanish class). i went home and went to sleep, woke up to find out that mom, dad, and my brother keenan went out to see spiderman 3, then went out to buy milk. then i made flan.

i brought it in today to spanish class and my teacher gave me 15 extra credit points. :) and it was delicious, by the way. my spanish class is 77% freshman and they were all trying to, yknow, eat it, so i declared senority and only gave it to the sophomores. nationalism and all that. the freshmen were dissapointed.

after school i went home, slept again, woke up to my phone ringing but didn't bother answering, then woke up fully because my brother decided to play the first 50cent CD really loudly (which is actually a decent CD, now that i listen to it again :]) now homework. this marking period i'm gonna get 90s, i swear. got my report card today and my average is a 73, meaning i went down by one point. lol whatever.

two of my earholes are closing up, rrgh. mc escher was a pretty awesome guy-- i have to give a powerpoint presentation about him thursday.